Lets not

The careless fate of a beautiful girl
Mother Nature does not negotiate
It is a cruel Youth

There is not a single person on earth who knows me
I do not doubt that people like me
That people love me
Or that people need me

My father is a self proclaimed alcoholic
My brother is on anti-depressants
My mother has an eating disorder
I most likely share some if not all of these diseases

have used and abused
alcohol
nicotine
marijuana
ritalin
laxatives

I don't believe I have
an eating disorder
alcohol problems
mental illnesses

But I have an obsessive personality
But I stick toothbrushes down my throat
But I got a fake ID at 14
and I'm so sad too often for it to be healthy

I am a compulsive liar
With unrecognized and unheard morals
Who cant for the life of me take my own advice

I am cared for
I will never have to pay a single dollar for my education
I am loved
By two Ivy-League graduates
Who have no idea who I am
Who would give anything to know
But I cant let them

I am weak
And want to be strong
But cant bring myself
To stop hurting myself

I don't know where to go from here
I keep breaking my own promises
I need a change

Im obsessed with a boy
That gives me enough food
To me keep alive
To me keep in love with him
But not nearly enough for it to be healthy

I want things from him
That he could never give me
I want things from everyone

I told myself I wouldn't
But I did
I tell myself I won't
But I do
I need help
I cant feel anything
something
give me something
please